My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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