Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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