dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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