so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
