that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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