got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
