I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
