I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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