Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
