It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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