i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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