My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
