do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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