Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
