i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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