I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm at about main and main street
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
