There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So much Jack, so little girl.
My ass is underappreciated
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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