Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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