He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
