Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
