My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
