Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
