god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
