i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
