It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
