her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
