We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
