i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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