I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
