he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
