I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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