I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
