yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's great music for shaving your balls
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
