I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
