i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
