Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We smell like vodka and hangover
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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