Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
