Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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