Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
