so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
