What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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