that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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