we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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