please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
