It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
