and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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