don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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