I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize