I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
