New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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