what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Blood and glitter go together right?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
