When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
