Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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