U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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