Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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