i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
