It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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