I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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