i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
