Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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