I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pants are for mortals
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