I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
