If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
