I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
