It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
