Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
