i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
